Many years ago, there was a boy who lived in my neighborhood whose name was Bobby Charlo. Like most of the kids that lived on the block, Bobby was happiest when he was doing something like letting the air out of the tires of Sister Mary’s bicycle or pushing his little brother into the street. Bobby was not evil, he was just excited about being annoying. Now, in full disclosure, I must admit that I have changed Bobby’s name for this article since the real person is a well-respected doctor, and I’d rather not be the one who exposes details of his ribald youth to his grandchildren or patients.
Ultimately this is a story of democrats, progressives, and socialists and their insidious practices to sell their vile ideas to a public they assume are stupid and uneducated. This is a story about the elitists that believe the public is unable to lead their own lives, let alone, vote without their help. Bobby will help me illustrate one of the fundamental tenets of their communication strategy. A strategy honed for generations, but perfected by their ideological hero, Joseph Goebbels.
The Charlo Gambit was used to significant effect by Bobby during our high school years. It was quite simple really, and never failed to fill Bobby with mirth and rolling waves of laughter. It seems that Bobby had a problem with gas. Not the fuel type, the type produced by way too many beans, garlic and broccoli. Bobby was overcome by this condition early in his high school career. However, he attended a Catholic high school run by the Brothers of the Holy Cross. As an example of their prowess, the Brothers of the Holy Cross could have designed the Navy Seal Training Program, but I fear the Seal’s would have found it inhumane. Just for the record, punishment meted out but the Brothers in 1959 would be judged as torture if used today on the inmates at Guantanamo. Suffice it to say that Bobby’s rebellious nature found some dampening resistance in this new holy setting.
Normally, Bobby’s gas problem was easily alleviated by simply giving into the pressure and filling the classroom with a light-yellow haze that generally forced evacuation and occasionally set off the smoke alarms. Once under the control of the Brothers, Bobby realized that giving into his gaseous inclinations meant consequences close to a near-death experience. I witnessed one of Bobby’s early attempts at relieving himself in class. Brother John O’Brien, standing thirty feet away from Bobby in the back of the classroom, fired a catechism text that connected precisely with the back of Bobby’s head before the sound of the fateful fart faded.
Never to be defeated by any authority, Bobby crafted the “Charlo Gambit.” When struck by the urge to release gas, Bobby did not go with the slow and hopefully silent tactic – not our Bobby. Bobby Charlo would deliberately wait until the gas pressure reached truly epic intensity, at which point he would explode with as much force as is humanly possible. The resultant explosion frequently raised chalk dust on the blackboards.
Bobby’s next move was shear genius. He would immediately stand, point an accusatory finger at the nearest classmate and scream: “Oh my God, YOU farted,” then adding something like: “and I hope you shit your pants.” Then he would proceed to laugh hysterically, all the while pointing his chubby finger in the direction of the red-faced youth who now clearly looked guilty. Bobby was perfect at picking his victims. Caught off guard, the accused was totally unprepared to react or even speak in his own defense. Over the years, I have even witnessed an innocent target of the Charlo Gambit break down and apologize for having farted.
The Brothers of the Holy Cross are not stupid, eventually the Charlo became well known, so much so that by graduation, Bobby had to wait for a substitute teacher or some other neophyte to take over the class before he could comfortably relieve himself. Bobby and I parted ways after graduation, but it came as no surprise to learn that the legendary gambit found use in college and graduate school. Now a septuagenarian, Bobby Charlo may well have returned to his former glory and enjoys tormenting his grandchildren with that accusatory finger. I hope not, but its hard to give up such a successful technique.
The Charlo Gambit is the sophomoric form of tactics that socialist-progressives use every day. They scream racist, homophobe, misogynist, fascist, and more at anyone that they designate as their target victim. The truth is that it is indeed the socialists that are racists, homophobes, misogynists, and fascists. But the Charlo Gambit gives them cover, they not only get to accuse their enemies, but they get to hide the reality that they are guilty of the offense in the first place.
